This website launched on April 13th 1999 from a condo in Seattle. Some 18 years later it embarks on an incredible new journey. Me. Open. Honest. Raw.

I've spent my entire life scared, confused, depressed, always trying to please and failing at everything I did. All that did was set me into a emotional tailspin. Falling deeper and deeper into this black/grey cloud that a depressed person has in their head.

How in the fuck was I going to care about anyone else, when I had absolutely no idea how to care about myself? I just wanted acceptance, but each and every time, failed.

I to this day, can never accept that I am a good person. I'm not. I have no clue what the hell happened to me. I can remember about 20 minutes of my childhood. Why? Why have I blocked so much out of my memories?

I'm lost.

Lets begin this fucked up journey....

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